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Sitting on the slanted bench with my body squished between two, I couldn’t help but allow the music to move me onto my feet yet again. I stood, the vibrations through the Air and Earth exciting the cells in my body into motion. Inviting the story that my dance is healing my body. My thoughts drift to the Warriors of the Sun Dance ceremony and I remember the archetype I have chosen to embody through dance. The intensity of my connection amplifies as I kiss the dirt with my feet and throw love spears out through my hands.
I take Her into my arms completely, cloaking us in a merkabah shaped vortex. The music slows as the techno shaman directs us in the practice of time travel. Overtaken by the subsonic frequencies I find my body shifting between movement and stillness in perfect rhythm with Her. As we deepen together into stillness the boundaries between begin to blur. My vision releases into a kaleidoscope of geometric shapes as the environment merges with the environed. Still in slow motion.
The Dance takes on new form as I focus my attention on the present intention of bending space. Our Movement together condenses our experience of time, bursting us through the dissolution of separation and into the Unity of the spacetime matrix. Dancing between the cycles of expansion and contraction manifests fractal universes of infinite beauty within our hands. We freeze in position again.
As we remain in stillness the boundaries begin to melt together again. Emerging from the chaos is Her beautiful face and bright eyes. We found each other. We were always together in the moment. All it required was Presence and Awareness. Her smile reflected back this new awareness. We were seeing each other through the veil. We had stumbled up a tear in the fabric and could see with clarity. Back to bending time.
I continued to honour Her with my presence and attention. I enjoyed this practice, She made it easy, and most importantly, exciting. The deeper I fell into my body, the deeper we fell into Unity. Is She giving me an invitation? Has She always been? Some part of me begins to remember and understand Her Now. Memories come flooding back to me and clarity arises with my recognition of Her Beauty. Our Dance is our Story. Let the play begin.
I watch Her face as it takes on new contortions and expressions, as though to invite me into the game she is playing. I start to think about it and stumble. Her interest wavers. I release further and return to the body, allowing my controlled folly to emerge. We are storytelling with our bodies. Acting. Calling and responding. Pushing and pulling. I fall deeper into Love of the moment. I choose in freedom to honour Her deeper.
The Storydance evolves and I learn to release my thoughts through my face and my movement. Allowing it to flow out. Transparency. As I tune into the thoughts with my awareness throughout the body a realization dawns on me: we are in a state of perfect telepathy. Felt language. No words are spoken, yet a full dialogue is exchanged in present moment, lucid feedback. My mind reels at the experience underway. How is this possible?
Her face dances with mine as we clearly mirror our inner dialogue in perfect unison. She is teaching me as though She has always known how it works, a natural. My honouring of the Feminine transforms me into we. We relax into the experience and allow everything to flow as is. Thoughts of disbelieve, attachment, craving, unity, acceptance, and bliss ripple all around us, alchemizing into pure presence.
She asks to leave and I share a moment of resistance. Gratefulness bubbles up within and I remember my commitment to valour in honouring of the Queen. I playfully accept her invitation, reminding her that I am new to this language. She reflects the light of acceptance and dissolves the limiting story; I have always known this language. I lead the Dance through her guidance. Unity through total freedom of choice. We stop again and come together at the lips. Her tongue invites mine to Dance within. In gratefulness, She challenges me to focus my attention further to Dance on the tips of our tongues. Diving in explodes supernovas of chaotically ordered, multi-dimensional fractals. We are enveloped and disappear together sometime across the universe.
Leading our orbit across the vast space between us and home, I giggle at the unbelievable degree of synchronicity and lucidity. Celebrating in Play. I am overtaken by a new archetype when I realize our position is within the union of a triad of techno shamans. Running back and forth, confused and out of control, I am the Fool. A total love and joy for Life. She is entertained. Feeling fulfilled in service to Her. The wizard returns to lead Her to the castle where Her King is waiting.
We return to our comrades at camp. I take Her hand and embrace while we say farewell to Grandmother Moon. She is full and radiant; a perfect reflection of Grandfather Sun. Our eyes lock into deep gaze with the glowing orb above. Our bodies completely still and feeling deep into Lover Earth. Flower of Life patterns explode forth from the Moon and swim through the stars. A pillar of light drops as the sphere transforms into wings of light. I am empty. What Grace has given us this experience? I am Full.
We turn to enter our vessel for sleep. She reminds me to check on our brothers and sisters before we settle into bed. I walk around the common dome and all is silent and peaceful. Now I can sleep the same. I climb into the castle and rejoin my Queen. Pulling Her close I tune into her subtle movement. She is still with me, speaking silently. I give attention to undressing her, something I have never done before. But it is effortless, She is directing me in freedom and I am able to honour Her completely. My hands slide down Her legs, one at a time, pulling down Her soft green fabric and removing Her tan moccasins. I tenderly kiss each of Her feet and bow in respect and humility for the sacredness and beauty of the Feminine.
She reciprocates the honouring and I witness Her carefully and attentively place my crown on the altar before climbing into the bed. She passes Her talisman to me and I quickly toss it onto the chair before turning to jump excitedly into bed. I immediately notice her dissatisfaction and I acknowledge the source; I did not return Her gesture. Rewind. Rewrite. I gracefully place Her talisman on the alter and bow in gratitude for Her source of gifts. I turn and respond in humility and forgiveness, asking to join Her in the nest. She is open.
Her movement is subtle, Her cues are kinesthetic. Instant feedback from the Feminine mirror embodied. Our bodies wrap around each other as our skin ignites in excited fire. As our lips touch we create pulsars of energetic waves that shockwave into the cosmos. Complete enjoyment. She guides my lips over Her body with this rediscovered felt language. A Dance of leading and being led. I stumble. Thoughts of inadequacy bounce around in the shadows. I pause to acknowledge this darkness and She invites me into the light with forgiveness. A soft touch on my heart and I am back within.
Gratitude fills my body and pours out into Her. What a gift! I can hardly contain my Self as a mixture of laughter, tears, and kisses emerge as an expression of a deeply felt appreciation. I can see/hear/feel an other like never before – to the very edge of even considering Her an other. We are One. I am inside of Her and She is inside of Me. The waves continue to rise and fall as we shape shift between light and serious play. Our total Selves are making love. All four of our bodies merging into one focal point of consciousness, simultaneously infinitely singular and boundlessly expansive. We are everything and we are nothing. We make love as a paradox in a cosmic torus, planting the seeds of creative fertility.
The Feminine is Life. She is change. Messy. Chaotic. Ferocious. Flux. The Feminine is you and it is me. Relationship to the Feminine is expressed through relationship to All. Relationship to the constant change within your thoughts. Relationship to your body. Relationship to the Earth. Relationship to the plants. Relationship to your material possessions. Relationship to your brothers and sisters. Can you love all expressions of the Feminine flux? Can you see all as change? Can you accept and witness the Feminine without needing to understand? Without needing to fix? Can you learn to Dance with, and Honour the Feminine? What does it mean to you to Honour the Feminine?
This post is dedicated to my Lover, Queen, Goddess, and reflection, Jenny Deiadora Lvoe.
Love you baby!
2 thoughts on “Honouring the Feminine”
This is very beautiful. Also curious: what does the word ‘merkaba’ mean to you? I ask because you mentioned that word. And it means something different to me.
Thank you Kundan!
I used it to describe the shapes of the geometries I was observing/experiencing 🙂
What does it mean to you?