Journey Towards Truth
“Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may”
— Terence McKenna
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This past weekend brought a powerful shift in my awareness. It began with the full moon and was carried forward through the Fall Equinox, all encapsulated within the translucent bubble of a festival in California called “Symbiosis Gathering”. The underlying theme of this cocoon was truth – and what emerged was a complete metamorphosis of my understanding, perception, and awareness of what “truth” means.
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Suffering Revealed
The shift was set into motion when I was first made aware of hurt I had caused within someone very close to me – a pain that was initiated by my actions and exponentially amplified due to my inability to speak my truth. This was conveniently emphasized by a viewing of the documentary, “The Cosmic Giggle” – a one hour must-watch for anyone wishing to uncover more depth to their truth. They discuss the language we use to communicate our truth, and often how people will use “non-committal” words, such as “maybe”, “possibly”, “I think”, or “perhaps”, to avoid truly embodying or taking full responsibility for the truth they are sharing. It results in a loss of personal power and a debilitating confusion. Often, this is how real truths are communicated, without ownership to what is being spoken, and thus we deflect any potential consequences that might result from our embodiment of the truth.
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When I use the word “ownership” I mean it in the sense that you are the one choosing to speak these words and you are taking full responsibility and being accountable for what you say. Speaking, after all, is simply a breath with a vocal (vibrational) intention. How would a deep knowing of the sacredness of the breath change your life?
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As the weekend evolved and I had opportunity to explore present situations and past memories, I quickly became more aware of times when I had caused suffering within others, all on account of my inability to own and speak my truth. And on the flip side, times when I had hurt others and had no idea because of their inability to communicate that truth to me. Communicating our truth benefits all parties involved. Why was I feeling blocked from being able to really share my truth?
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Finding Our Truth
Maybe a better spot to start would be with what truth means to me. I believe my heart speaks the truth, always. I have just forgotten how to listen, so it requires practice. It is when my mind gets involved and brings in the doubts, criticisms, and rationales about why I should or shouldn’t do something that then generates the confusion. The truth is whatever you feel you need to communicate in each present moment. The truth is not always what appears to be the “nice” or “polite” thing to say. Sometimes people need to hear the truth being screamed at them. What will always be present with the heart’s truth is compassion, understanding, and love – no matter how it is vocalized. The truth is whatever it is for you right now. When we drop our attachments and identification with our stories, love the ego, release judgements, realize all that is truly real for us is our immediate experience – wherever and whoever we are with – and open ourselves to communicating our truths with compassion, then we can collectively arrive at a higher, more expanded and integrative truth within ourselves. How do we know if what we are thinking or feeling about another person is accurate unless we ask?
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On a personal level, I believe my blocks grew out of an internalized fear of speaking the truth. Afraid to “rock the boat” and potentially upset someone. This begins externally and early on in life, as children. Children are connected to the flow of their heart pulse, free and open to speak and do whatever it is they feel like in the moment. Often this can create uncomfortable situations for the cultured adults, and the child receives a life-denying “no”. Over time the external pressures to contain our “wrong” or “bad” behaviours become internalized as feelings of guilt or shame that continue to influence us as adults. This is a whole topic unto itself, here I mean to illustrate how our truth is our most authentic expression and we are most connected to that authenticity as children. As we are told this is wrong, we repress or ignore the impulses of truth in favour of what is more “acceptable”. This fear of expression ultimately a fear of abandonment (from the parents, from the community, etc.) – externally forced as children, internalized as adults.
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Power in Truth
Truth transforms and uplifts us to our higher potential as beings, individually and collectively. Sometimes it can hurt. I noticed the truths I had been ignoring were the ones that were painful and my inability to speak them inevitably led to others being hurt as well, often for much longer as I held in my truth. Approaching the sharing of how others make us feel with vulnerability and humility allow us to hear truths from others that might be reflecting a truth within a hidden shadow of our Selves. There is always opportunity for healing and releasing and I am also learning that speaking my truth can go way better than I might expect.
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After a long process of moving up the “decision hierarchy” at the entrance to Symbiosis (I apparently couldn’t park my RV in the parking area and tent camp – RVs had to have RV passes – and they cost $220!), they ended up gifting me an RV parking pass! During this experience, I focused on holding space for a positive outcome, all the while sticking to my truth in a compassionate and understanding way. {It was challenging at times, especially when I heard my favourite line “Your logic and rationale is completely solid, however that is just the rule”} That experience really opened me up to the potential that exists when we really own our truth.
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Living in Truth
I am nowhere near a continual resonance with my truth. Each day I take one step closer, carrying forward the awareness of when I am not living in my truth. I have discovered that most of the time when I am feeling out of balance (something running through my head, holding resentment toward someone, etc.) it is because I have not communicated a truth to another. Hiding my truth in order to not upset someone was in essence, me playing small in order to protect the small in them. If someone is getting upset or angry with what you have shared, you are gifted the opportunity to feel into your truth being reflected and they are gifted the chance to feel into the truth arising within them.
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As we break down the barriers between each of us and step into an open, honest, and compassionate sharing of truth, we are able to see our reflections more clearly; we are able to move into a deeper truth about ourselves. We are entering a new era of truth and justice and this requires each of us to do our part to hold each other in these new stories. Taking responsibility for the choices you made to lead you to where you are right now. Empowering your words by saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Realize that everything we share with others can have a profound impact on their lives.
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You are a divine being with a powerful voice and valuable message. Speak your truth and share the new stories, this is how we collectively heal and transform old wounds. Remember that they are all simply stories – what kind of story do you want to speak with your sacred breath? What stories are you perpetuating and creating in your world? Even inaction is a participation in this story creation – letting an opportunity to speak truth slide away will leave open space for a lie to perpetuate. This does not mean that truth always need to be spoken – practice tuning into your heart and your ability to express in alignment will only grow!
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What is your truth in this moment?
I say all of this as a reminder to myself.
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Namaste,
Skye