New Paradigm Relationship:

Rooting His

{This is part two of a three part, mirrored series on New Paradigm Relationship}

Links for  – Part One: Seeding, Part Two: Rooting, Part Three: Watering

Once we have seeded the awareness of a deeper connection with our intimate partners through the mutual sharing of truth, we have taken the first step in embodying the qualities of a new paradigm relationship. This type of relationship personifies the characteristics of humility, detachment, self-acceptance, and transparency – while simultaneously opening us to the abundance of love that pervades our every waking moment. It is often the fear of being hurt, or the avoidance of heartbreak, that keeps us from diving into the depths of love accessible only through opening deeply to another. When we release the fear of heartbreak, and even invite such experiences into our lives, we discover that hidden underneath the pain of loss is our connective, infinite love.

If the fear of loss is accompanied by a perception of scarcity then a relationship will be rooted in a needy co-dependency. The words “I need you”, or “You complete me” are often expressions that come from this place of lack. Deep down we do not want to hear, that without you, your partner’s life would be over and they would crumble into a helpless heap for the remainder of their days. I did not realize this until I discovered the attractiveness in hearing “I do not need you”. We all must eventually say goodbye to those we love, and with this awareness I am able to deepen into a present, unconditional love, knowing that no matter what happens, both of us will be okay. This love is sourced in something beyond our limited personal identifications.

As we remember our wholeness through self-acceptance, we are able to relax into our natural, authentic, whole-self state completely. Through this relaxing into authenticity we enter the space to receive our present-state counterpart in an intimate relationship. The paradox comes full circle when we discover that in order to fully relax into our authentic self, we do need our partner. This is a very different type of need – one sourced in unconditional love and abundance, rather than fear and scarcity. Like two magnetic poles creating the arc of attraction, we learn to relinquish the qualities within ourselves that we desire to see in our partner. For example, if you want your partner to be decisive and choose direction, you would need to release giving direction and open to surrendering to theirs through trust. Relinquishing the quality you desire in your partner creates space and invites them to embody such a quality. While we are whole unto ourselves, it is within the container of an intimate relationship that we are able to relax into our most fulfilling expression by having the external support of our mirrored counterpart.

The awareness of this type of new paradigm relationship, and the recognition of our intimate partners as mirrors to our current state of being, empower us to take responsibility for our current life situation. If you are in a relationship that does not bring you fulfillment and are seeking this deeper connection through intimacy, I would encourage giving attention to your own habits and behaviours before decoupling. Have you created space to invite your partner into this new way of being? Can you embody the qualities of humility, detachment, transparency, and self-acceptance while still in your current relationship? All you can do is create the invitation – your partner must be the one to choose to enter with you. If you have done this from a loving, open heart-space and it is not received, then you might be in a better position to decide whether or not to release your current relationship.

Another essential aspect of the manifestation of a new paradigm relationship is the release of seeking. Our culture teaches us courtship and dating in the same way as most other areas of life: that a partner needs to be actively sought, and attraction forced, through an exertion of effort or a carefully calculated plan of action steps. Not only did releasing the need to seek relationship make my life infinitely easier, it also helped me feel more natural in my actions and behaviours. I am no longer seeking attention or placing importance in how others perceive me and I discovered that this way of being is very attractive and inviting to people. Instead of attempting to create a specific outcome through manipulation or feeling like I needed to force that which I desired, I moved into a space of allowing. The space of allowing enables an organic emergence for whatever outcome is required in the moment while creating the invitation for an individual to attract and water a new paradigm relationship.

Part Three: Watering

To read about rooting the new paradigm relationship from Her perspective, click here.

In love,

Skye