Straight from the heart. That’s where creativity flows from. It’s straight from where life emanates. When we pick up the pen and just start writing. When we let whatever is wanting to be expressed out into the world. It’s rude. It’s raw. It’s ugly. It’s hard to hear. It’s not fun to see. It’s necessary. It’s most challenging to feel. It’s right now. It’s presence. It’s truth.
It loops and loops and loops. I look at the thoughts. I see them. I hate them. I love them. I push them aside. I speak them. I write them. Sometimes they consume me. I refuse them because I fear what is on the other side. They continue. Over and over. I get angry and provoke someone else. I am powerless and I blame others. I rebel and turn to distractions. I am afraid and I take control of everything I can. I do not trust and I manipulate. I give conditionally and I resent. The loops continue. The emotions repressed. How can I be free?
I learn to forgive myself. I remember to accept my present situation. I know my power to choose. I trust that all is in perfect time. Happiness is not a goal, it is a temporary passing, as is all emotion. I acknowledge the pain. I practice alchemizing experiences of all forms into gifts through the power of humility. The mastery of this, results in the golden treasure of the fool – a playful, detached co-creative participation in the dance of life. I trust that I am right where I need to be. I trust that I know what to do.
The moment arrives. My truth emerges in perfect time, in the perfect way, with total observation of the experience. A paralyzing tension. A breath held in anticipation. A shaky voice. A pounding heart. A presence with life that makes all other moments feel asleep. Something real. A pivotal moment. A flood of emotions. What is on the other side?
A weight is lifted. A response received. A sigh. The process of release. Honouring the grief. Part of your self has shifted. You are more you. Your fears have subsided. You are okay. Your situation may not look pretty but you feel better somehow. You remember that you have been here before. There is another side. There will be more love. More pain. More laughter. More tears. More joy. More sorrow. More highs. More lows. You feel your heart smile deep inside.
You have been shown your Self. Teacher and student have reflected each other as perfect mirrors, again and always. Humble to hear. Love to see. Forgive to feel. Receive all the gifts and discard the sludge that serves no one. We all change. Invite others into grace by releasing your image of them.
Your experience has taught you. Remember the lessons. You dust off and stand up again, ready to love even more.